I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
bring money and cleavage
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
