I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
