he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
