i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
