i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
