There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
