I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
