no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
