I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
