Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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