the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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