i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
