and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
