oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
