Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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