side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
