Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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