he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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