i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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