her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I would fuck him just for his dog
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
