Sponge bath it is.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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