thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
