Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
