He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
