I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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