At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
