I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
