apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
