No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
