yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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