Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
In other news, I just burned my penis
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
