I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
