Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You were trust falling into bushes
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
