The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
