Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
