i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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