Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
