My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
