Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
