i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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