I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
