it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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