Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
