I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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