I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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