You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize
