I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
