if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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