wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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