If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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