Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
